For Senators on the Fence on Climate, Everything's in PlayNew York TimesAnd Graham has floated a "clean energy standard" that would allow power.

Brand New Unused Horse & Livestock Solar Powered Electric 5 Mile Fence Charger Adjustable Controller. Unique angled solar panel adjusts to catch the sun's power better. Solar fence controller can power up to five miles of electric fence ...

The light comes on in the controller box, but stays steady instead of flashing. Anyone have this happen? Has anyone ever changed out the battery in their solar charger? I'm wondering if it is worth taking to the repair facility, ...

We are just starting out increasing our hobby farm and bought a solar panel that is supposed to have enough juice to power our electric fence (we are getting 2.

Our very popular model “Solar System-on-a-Fence” exhibit will return to our 610-foot south fence again this year. Plaques describing the planets, dwarf planets, and selected other objects, from the Sun to Sedna, will be rehung on the ...

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Used solar fencing wire available for sale to cover a distance of 1200mtrs,for 8 rows along with insulators close Hyd-bad. Mail your queries,please.

Amorphous solar charging kit provides up to 60-Watts of clean, free, renewable powerDesigned for RVs, cabins, homes, boats, back-up and remote power use, and moreWeatherproof, durable solar panels can withstand impacts from hailstones travelling 50 ... But if you are on the fence due to shipping worries – don't fret! By Robert Inget on March 4th, 2010 at 7:22 pm. The panels themselves are of excellent quality. The stand, goes together in quickly and neatly. ...

We have taken a 6-volt, impact-resistant solar panel that was designed for military use, and combined it with a 4-volt battery using low-impedance technology to develop the most compact, yet powerful solar-powered electric fence ...

More leeway is offered, on the other hand for those installing geothermal heat pumps, tiny wind turbines and solar energy systems. For these investments, both existing homes and new construction qualify as well as both principal ...

SPEEDRITE 12000i / STAFIX X12i state-of-the-art, 12-joule output, electric fence energizers operate on electricity, battery, or solar power and can be used with a remote control. Fence monitoring system, LCD display, Cyclic Wave™ ...

Some of these solar lighting are installed by staking them to the ground, while other models can be simply hung on the wall hooks. Still other models are installed by becoming lamp or fence post tops. ...

Click Here to register and receive your Free Squidoo Lens Creation for Newbies Passive Solar Energy Diagram Passive Solar Energy Diagram Solar Fence charger -

This 2 pack plastic fence post solar light is perfect for adding light along your fence line. Each light contains 1 bright white LED bulb. Each light also comes with one black stake for ground use. Product size is 4.00″ x 4.00″ x 6.00″ ...

Sure, a little varmit sized electric fence could be powered by a solar charger (i didn't check the site, i wonder what size battery it uses?). My pal keeps Scottish Highland Cattle in a perimeter with electric fencing that charges ...

Photovoltaic Phenomenon & Fence. Saw on the news that Solar Sailor of Australia will be building solar powered ferries for Hong Kong harbour. The solar powered ferries will be zero emission and use no fuel. ...

State-of-the-art designed solar panel set in polycarbonate plastic case that is virtually indestructible, will not rust, corrode, or break and is shock resistant. Chrome plated binding terminals are easily adjusted with fingers, ...

Along with upgrading the charge controller, we also upgraded the infrastucture connecting the solar panels back to the shed containing the regulators, inverter and batteries. The original cables were 10 sq mm and ran along our fence. ...

Geographic Solar Handford 12" Hybrid Post Light, Solar ... Our white solar fence post cap light fits a 4" or 5" vinyl ... Mastercraft St. Petersburg Copper Solar Pendant Post Light; copper solar light - Compare Prices and Buy on ...

Battery-powered electric fence energizer uses two D-cell batteries to continuously power virtually any electric fence system. Erases worry associated with energizers that run on conventional or solar power, which are subject to power ...

Furthermore these solar floating lights. Import & Export Trade Platform for more than 20000 solar pond light manufacturers. Solar Fence Post Cap Light/ Red Led- Set of 6 Solar Tiki Torch Light In White or Amber. Furthermore these solar ...

John Matouk & Co. has been told their 100000-watt alternative energy project is the largest solar panel display in southeastern Massachusetts. President and CEO George Matouk Jr. said the idea behind the solar panels came about in May ...

20 watt 12v solar charged electric fence. Powerful 1.4 joule energiser will electrify up to 12 km of wire. Sturdy aluminium frame housing battery (supplied), charge controller and fence energiser. Superb performance and excellent value. ...

I'm not talking a destroyed civilization with mass graves, I'm talking a formal graveyard like you'd find outside an ancient church with grave markers, headstones, fenced-in, etc. Do you suppose we'd desecrate it like we do the ancient ones we find on Earth or leave it alone and first look for the civilization who put it there?

Letting Solar Shine: An Argument to Temper the. Over-the-Fence Rule. "If we fail lo make timdy and r.ocessi'.ry diaries to our current regulatory framework, we may find ourselves in a situation where technological advancsmurr. ...

I've had that same problem with solar fence chargers. It is especially bad in the winter when the batteries don't work as well, the ground doesn't conduct as well, and we have more cloud cover. If you are where you can reach with a difficult ...

Some of them are copper fence post caps, deck post caps, vinyl post cap and solar fence post cap which are famous amongst customers. They have an excess of attractive and decorative styles. Deck post caps are made up of wood very often. ...

Hello again, February already would you believe? For those of you in colder climes don't worry the worst of Winter will soon be behind you and the Spring thaws will start before you know it. It's been a topsy turvy Winter with ...

I purchased this Parmak Magnum 12volt solar fence charger for a pasture for a horse my wife bought at an auction. Closest access to electricity was over 500 feet away through the woods so solar made it simple. ...

I got these from a website, some of them are really silly. Essays Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners. 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only arrive from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. 5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine giggle, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. 8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. 9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. 10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. 11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30 12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. 13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. 14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. 15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. 16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. 18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted close. 19. Shots rang out, as shots are won't to do. 20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the nice you receive from not eating for a while. 22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a flame hydrant. 24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. 25. He was deeply in adore. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a trash truck backing up.

solar panels electric fence. Simplifying solar power installation; Bend startup's product could open up market to more residential users. A year ago, Bend solar-power startup AC Solar Technology did not even exist. ...

We are just starting out increasing our hobby farm and bought a solar panel that is supposed to have enough juice to power our electric fence (we are getting 2 steers). Has anyone had good or bad results with one of these? We live in Wisconsin.

My husband and I are first time home buyers and are using the VA for financing. We are trying to purchase a lender owned home that has been vacant for quite a while. We had an offer accepted on a home and proceeded with the home inspection. At the inspection, the hot water was turned on. It is connected to a solar panel on the roof. When it is on, it sends water up to the roof and it leaks heavily. Within seconds of turning on the water heater, there was a waterfall coming off the roof. This is not a big deal, the solar just has to be taken out of the connection and the hot water will work just fine. Because of this, there were also other minor plumbing issues that need to be addressed. Also, the allow to have the power on is temporary. The electrical does not meet city standards. There are missing GFC protectors and the fuse box is not labeled correctly. We did not need an inspection for this, the failed allow is sitting on the counter when you walk in. Also, the furnace does work. There are other minor things wrong with the home but those are the biggies. Well, we ordered the VA appraisal when we signed the contract on Jan 07. We sent a BINSR report to the lender after our home insect on Jan 14 letting them know what we wanted repaired. The lender told us that they would not agree to any repairs until after the VA appraisal so we let it go and waited. We finally received the VA appraisal 02/09. Per our lender, these appraisals are only expected to take ten business days plus five more for the underwriters. We have been in constant contact with our lender asking for the appraisal. We have gone past our closing date and because of that, the seller is keeping our earnest money. During this past month, the listing agent never received a call from the appraiser asking for the key code to receive into the home. Now the appraisal has arrive back and they have said that no repairs need to be made to the home. Our lender said that she has never seen a home arrive back clean. So the seller is refusing to make any repairs to the home and we are stuck with a home that has no hot water and no heat. My question is, it is obvious that the VA appraiser never entered the home. If he would have turned on the hot water heater, he would of seen a waterfall off the side of the home. The furnace does not work. There is a pool in the back yard and the fence surrounding it is completely dilapidated. What options do I have? Any experience? Of couse we have an appraisal contingency, it only applies if the home appraises for more than our loan, which it did not. You may have been an underwriter, but you have obviously not dealt with VA appraisers and property. If you have not dealt with a VA appraiser, don't answer the question. I cannot receive funding if the VA does not approve of the home and yes, they do inspect the HVAC. The home has to meet certain VA standards before they will fund the loan. Look if you don't know and receive a little smarter. http://www.vba.va.gov/ro/Roanoke/rlc/forms/APPRAISER%20GUIDE%202005.pdf The Seller refused to make any repairs before the VA came through because the VA ALWAYS demands certain repairs be made. Like I said, our lender told us they have NEVER had a home arrive back needing no work when it went through a VA appraiser. Seriously, if you do not know, don't answer. Of course we knew the home needed work but so did the seller. They knew that repairs would have to be made when they agreed to accept VA financing. Maybe read the link I have posted so next time you answer a VA appraisal question, you sound a little smarter. "An appraisal IS NOT THE SAME AS A HOME INSPECTION AND NEVER STATES WHETHER REPAIRS MUST OR MUST NOT BE MADE ON THE HOME...an appraiser IS NOT a licensed inspector." This statement right here makes it painfully obvious that you do not know what you are talking about and are not, in fact, an expert realtor. VA appraisers make repair demands every the time. If you don't know, don't answer.

We know that orientation of a solar panel on a fence charger makes a big difference in the amount of energy collected. So if we consider a plant as a solar energy collector does it influence yield if we plant so the rows collect the most sunlight?

I have an electric fence charger that I want to run with solar power. Can I buy the panels and hook it up through that? If so, How do I make sure that they panels can give me enough juice to run it?

Do you have a dark area where your entrance to your residents is? To beautify your entrance and light it up at the same time there is a solar light Stainless.

Our husky has a tendancy to receive out of her collar when she is tied up, so we keep her in the front yard because it has a fence. Unfortunatley she has a silly habit to chew on anything that is out there, including Christmas decorations. We don't have this problem inside, so it is a puzzler. My question is, how can I have even the simplest Christmas decoration (she chewed through our christmas lights around the windows, and our solar powered path lights) when nothing is safe out there?

Okay so I was on an urban legend website and ran across this. Thought I'd give someone on here a good giggle like it gave me. Why English Teachers Die Young Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers. Here are last year's winners..... 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only arrive from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. 5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine giggle, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. 8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. 9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. 10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. 11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. 13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. 14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. 15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. 16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. 18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted close. 19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. 20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the nice you receive from not eating for a while. 22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a flame hydrant. 24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. 25. He was deeply in adore. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a trash truck backing up.

using a 6V solar fence charger and 130watt 5 gal pail. In interior Alaska with only 3-4 hrs daylight right now. How would I convert the pail from A/C?

Hey ya every! Hvaen't been on here forever, look some familar faces still here, mulereiner and others:) anyways getting ready to move mare onto possess property and need to receive soem opions and idea's for fencing. We have a acre and half pasture we are going to be using for my mare. We are going to go for the electric fencing with a solar pannel fence charger. The web and mesh fence seems more attractive but less sturdy. I thought about regular hot wire , with still the solar power charger? What do you use and what are your po's and con's to them? We will be using regualr metal t-posts with the insulators. I am thinking the fence will be at least three strands. Has anyone else used the solar pannel cahrgers, I live in a moderate winter climiate , where we receive snow, planning on just brushing the snow off the pannel daily. If you use the solar pannel , is this been sufficent for you? Also intrested in composting for the poo. Anyone else try this and how much work does it take? I have a neighbor that has kids that mine play with (school age early preteen) I know i have to have signs stating electric fence, for protection, I am just worried about liabilty, do i need to receive a state liabilty sign to just to ease my mind, Which I have already said no one is to be out in the pature without me, but still you know how some want their kids to go over and pet the neighbors horse-lol! Also with our winters i thought about what our boarding barn does and divid the pasture in half for one side can recupe during winter anyone else do this and what are the pro's and con's or suggestions. Thanks again for your time, I am a organization freak-lol and like to plan ahead of things so researching every i can before my mare moves home:) Thank you Barbed wire is never a option with horses and a big no-no, it is asking for a injury. The mesh is not wire like in rual field dividers, i was talking about the electric tape mesh. Thank you for every the idea's and options:)

What nice of special hardware do I need for this arbor project? I will be using a heavier gauge 1 5/8th inch fence rail (tubing) to construct the frame for an arbor for my Lady Banks roses to climb up on, but for the inner area of the overhanging arbor, where the rose vines will be climbing on, I want to use another material. I plan on covering the top of the arbor with Texilene solar shade cloth, which will reduce the temperature greatly, but I am still concerned that the galvanized fence rail pipe will still absorb so much of the summer desert heat, and damage the leaves/ branches and roses, as they try to climb on this thing. I have thought of using 1x1 redwood, but does anyone have any other suggestions for material? Also, if I were to use 1 x 1 redwood, how would you attach these to the fence rail? So far, I haven't been able to arrive up with any other idea but to drill through the tubing, into the ends of the redwood 1 x 1s. That's a lot of drilling through the railing, which I'd rather not do, because though the holes would be tiny, it could maybe still sacrifice the integrity/ strength of the framing. Looking forward to some good responses to this design challenge.

well first i would build my 2,000 square foot home. then i would buy tons of land! put white fencing around it and buy black horses. and maybe 1 white one. then i would plant trees, lots of fruits and gardens every over. have a nice lagoon for the horses to drink. then donate to muscular distrophy. buy a dish washer and tons of solar power. maybe a paved laneway and lots of money would go to my kids and my wedding. um id most deffinitly pay off our family debt. and live a glad life while having a smoke free sancuary where no smokers can light up. basicly i would make an upper canada villiage nice of. its something to be creative with. but in no way on earth would i put money towards internet software. i think technology is a waste to this environment and the people who dont care and just want to polute can live an un glad life

Hey everyone, I have a black Arabian Stallion who needs a name! He is something else! The very first day I had him, he almost choked him self to death on hay. Then a week later he got wrapped up in a barbed wire fence! He's practically invincible! LOL. He loves mares and loves to give "adore bites!" Also, he LOVES to hollar! Hes always neighing and is a real home body. There are pics of him on my website; http://www.snowcreekranch.net/ For those who are answering, please dont give me names like midnight, or blacky, or solar eclipse. I like unusal names preferably with a meaning. =)

I ask this because I have an idea which could work, but would cost £££'s heh. Green-Robo-Cops. Thats essentially the idea. upright 'public sanitation' law enforcers, designed to move on ground (and in future by air, using jet-packs) via a series of wheels rotating against a belt. It can spin around 360 and reach speeds of up to 45mph (60mph in emergencies where it must pursue occupants of a vehicle). Green-Robo-Cops will be about 5 foot tall and will be equipped with a highly improved (self updating) version of the current 'sat nav' technology. They will also be able to rely on night vision as well as thermal imaging detection, facial recognition software (feedbacks every this data to a mainframe server held at one of the MI6 buildings) and will be capable of being in operation 24/7 365. It's solar powered Energy Cell will boast a whopping 500% power storage, so that it can do its job for one whole year non cease, always heading back to the green-cop station for re-charging. The idea is simple if you're not quite on the same page. Want a packet of crisps or a banana but don't want to walk around to locate the nearest public bin ? go ahead, push that empty packet of crisps behind that bush and hurl that banana skin over that fence. Nobodies looking. HAH! Robo-Green-Cop is! And so, it approaches you peacefuly at a gentle speed of 3mph with its eyes flashing red. And in a soothing voice it kindly urges you to pick up your rubbish and dispose of it in a bin. If you fail to comply it will ask again politely. Fail to comply again and a cylindrical arm with claws ejects outwards and it will swing it repeatedly at your un-sanitary body. If you run it will chase you and flame a web to trap you. It will then drag you to the nearest police station where you will pay a hefty fine of £1000. If you think you can outwit it in a car, think again. Capable of reaching speeds of up to 60mph on public roads , 0-60 in below 5 seconds, upon reaching the side of your moving vehicle it will flame spikes into your tyres rendering your vehicle obsolute for the road. I think the time has arrive where human police officers should become intelligence law enforcers, and be safe from the barbarism currently on our streets. You can't kill a robot , and neither can you bribe nor intimidate one. What do you reckon then, a good idea ?

Ok, I really don't understand. So please walk me through it. STEP BY STEP please. I am gonna use a solar energizer. The use of the fence, it will surround my sweetcorn, tomato, and melon fields, to keep animals out. I seen at my local TSC they have fence posts that are 3 foot tall, which is great because I only want my fence about 2 foot tall. I read I need grounding posts and other things. So please give me precise, and exact instructions to what I need. I am gonna use a solar powered energizer and metal posts. Thanks, Mike

Hi Folks, I have a double width garage. It has strong joists, floorboarding, an asphalt cover, then a layel of gravel. It has been bugging me for years that this fine area is not being used to its' full potential. I have considered fencing and astroturf; a big greenhouse; solar arrays, and various rediculous notions. Bolting on a wrought iron external staircase is not a big problem, so I'd be interested in every practical and humourous suggestions that the planning permission bods would have to scratch their heads about. Bob

I can run water piping to the plot, but have no electricity. The area is approximately 1 acre in size and is enclosed in hog fence.

That sounds confuzzling ! Lol. What I mean to say is - My electric fence is powered by a portable energiser which is connected to a 12 volt car battery. What I want to know is can I connecr a solar unit to the battery to keep it topped up or do i have to keep taking it and plugging it into the charger ?

Hi, for several months now I've been thinking and imagining a perfect and better world for everyone. Ideas in my head from edible lawns, composting centers in every town, electric and solar cars, healthier and more fit people,and more help for the unfortunate and the mentally sick, for example. So I thought about it for a while and decided that change starts with yourself. I know tiny steps are the best ones and I asked my parents if I could build a vegetable garden and at first they were apprehensive but they eventually obliged. So me and my dad built a extremely tiny vegetable garden, (whitch is doing pretty good right now). So I felt good and felt like I got off to a good start. I was using a tiny tin trash can to compost with, I put in kitchen scraps, grass clipping, ect. But I know thats not the right way to compost, so I asked my dad and my mom if I could build a -real- compost bin, but they were very against it (they kept on saying about every the bad things about it, -too much space- -eyesore- -smells bad -rats- ect.) But my dad said we would do a tiny one (here we go again) on the side of the home behind the fence. Its been 5 weeks since he said that and I keep on asking him and he says hes so busy, and he has no time, but I feel that theres no way he couldn't have time. He watches tv for like 1.5 hours a day and its not like Im asking him to receive the whole thing done in one day either. My parents also are against taking me to the gym to workout. They say I dont need to workout that much, its takes to much time. They also Always say -you went to the gym yesterday- as an excuse. (which makes me mad) So I only bet to go about 3 days a week and usually 2 of those days my sister takes me. But I run and play tennis so its okay but I'd like to go more often. They also don't want to switch to energy saving light bulbs, my dad says they're too expensive even after I explain to him it will keep money in the long run and he says the light isn't bright on them. I asked if i could receive two hens (a week or two ago), but you should have seen their reaction when I asked them. Then they said -what are you going to want next, an elephant- I wanted to expand my garden for the fall but my dad is also procrastinating that and he never wants to take the time do something. He also says doing thats expensive but i told him when you harvest you receive your money back 10 fold! Any way, those are just a few examples of how my parents are the average dumb Americans who are set in their ways, but do any of you have any advice on what I can tell them or do to inspire them just like I have been?

Every year, teachers from around the country take every their students' silly lines and stupid similes and metaphors and make a list of them. Here they are. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef. She had a deep, throaty, genuine giggle, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted close. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. The young fighter had a hungry look, the nice you receive from not eating for a while. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a flame hydrant. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. He was deeply in adore. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a trash truck backing up. He spoke with the wisdom that can only arrive from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. like!